Five Questions With Daddy
by Adrian Jade
Summary: John Cena has to go to work but his babysitter canceled at the last minute. Now he has to film 5 Questions with his less that well behaved little girl. Will he get through it in one piece?
1. Chapter 1

"Well folks your boy is back" John smiled brightly into the camera. He was happy to have 5 Questions back even if that meant he would have to work with The Brooklyn Brawler aka Steve Lombardi again.

"So let's get into it with the first of many new questions for yours truly John Cena" he cleared his throat and held a piece of paper up to begin to read it.

"Daddy I'm bored" a little girl whined from the back ground.

John Cena smiled as he turned around to address the little girl who had just complained.

"Sweetie, Daddy is working right now and you promised you'd stay quiet until I was done"

"But I'm bored … I wanna go home and see mommy"

John turned back to the camera "Excuse me just one second folks"

"Zoe, you need to be quiet for a little while just so daddy can finish working and then we will go home and see Mommy ok"

"Ok Daddy" she smiled happily at her dad.

"So anyways now that that little crisis was taken care of on to question number one" he said returning his attention back to the piece of paper he was holding.

"Sarah, from Long Island writes …" was all John could get out before Zoey interrupted again.

"I wanna be on TV too daddy" she said.

"We aren't on TV sweetie we are on the internet" he corrected her.

"Whatever … I wanna be on the interweb too"

"It's internet honey" he corrected once again this time he was a little aggravated.

"Look at me … look at me!" Zoey exclaimed jumping up and down in front of the camera.

"Zoey stop that" John demanded loosing his patience fast.

Zoey stopped jumping and looked at her daddy. She gave him one of her most angelic smiles and he almost melted. He loved his daughter very much.

"Come over here and we will answer the questions together" he told her.

Zoey hopped over to her dad and he picked her up. He kissed her cheek and once again he returned his attention to the piece of paper that was now a crumpled mess.

"Now like I was trying to do earlier let's answer these questions before I'm old and gray"

"Daddy you are already old" Zoey giggled.

"I'm still in my prime thank you little miss" he informed her _"Now Sarah from Long Island wants to know what I like to do now that I'm out on my injury leave"_

"Daddy has a boo boo on his arm" Zoey announced.

"Thanks for the news update Zoe, Well when I'm not chasing this one around which is usually what I am doing I enjoy playing around with my cars and spending time with the wifey"

"_Question number two: Keith from Philly wants to know what I thought about the Sox winning the Series again"_

"Dude are you kidding me I was frickin jumping up and down on my couch the night they won … I threw a huge party and everyone was so liquored up by the time they won … let's just say everyone was happy that night"

"Hey Zoe, who's your favorite baseball team?" he asked his daughter.

"The God damn Sox" she replied.

"_Question number three: Allison from Long Beach, John I heard you recently got married … is that true or was that all just a big rumor?"_

"If the kid in my arms doesn't mean anything to you then the fact that I said I liked to spend time with the wifey should tip you off … yes I am married and I must add happily married"

"Here's a question I want answered … why do babysitters always cancel at the last possible second when it's too late to call another sitter so you have to bring your little angels to work with you when that is the reason you hired the sitter in the first place … now that is what I want to know"

"_Question number four: Tiffany from Buffalo writes, John we recently had to put our dog Rosie to sleep and so I wanted to know if you had any pets?"_

"Yes I do I have a dog and 3 cats who I love as much as I love any other member of my family"

"Our doggie is named Kimba" Zoey said.

"Finally after a very long edition of 5 questions we have reached the last question" John said in an almost relieved tone.

"Answering questions is fun daddy" Zoey said.

"_Question number five: Brad from NYC writes, Dear John, me and my girlfriend have been together for over 4 years now and she is starting to talk about kids how should I handle this?" _

"Dude you are asking the wrong guy … kids are a lot of work and I suggest that unless you and your girl are really sure that you are ready don't have them because then you end up like me, some crazy guy who had no idea what is going on half the time"

"Daddy you aren't crazy all the time"

"Thanks Zoe that makes me feel better"

"You are just crazy most of the time" the little girl with the blonde curls commented.

"On that note we are out"

"Can we go and get ice cream now?" Zoey asked.

"I have no control do I?" John could be heard asking as the screen went black.

A/N: I got this idea as my friend Maddie was reading a different fanfic to me and thought it would be a cute idea. Let me know what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

"Ok I'm back and this week without Zoey so we can get down to some serious answers" John smiled brightly as he bounced a little on his toes.

"Boo … we want Zoey" Steve Lombardi could be heard yelling from his position behind the camera.

"Brawler I will take you out back and kick the **Brooklyn Brawler** out of you … dude how the **Brooklyn Brawler** did you manage to edit me out before we even started shooting … like how am I hearing Brooklyn Brawler in the studio?" he looked around in a paranoid manner.

"John we're filming" Brawler chided him.

"I'm telling you one of these days" John remarked flipping through the questions "and to think we used to be friends"

"_Question number one: Jennifer from Dallas writes: John your daughter is adorable you should have her on the show all the time anyways my question is I have a 5 year old son named Austin who saw the show last week and now wants to meet Zoey is there any way we could set something up maybe like a date"_

"You are kidding me right ... do you think I would pimp my daughter out like that. The answer is hell **uh-uh** no. Neither one of my daughters are allowed to date until their 30. Zoey and Mariah if you are watching this daddy is not kidding you are not allowed to date until I am dead and buried."

"_Question number two: Maddie from Virginia wants to know about my reaction to the Pats being 16-0: Well it is very much the same as the Red Sox winning the series. My ass will be in front of that TV for every game leading up till the Superbowl. Of course my lovely wife will probably be nagging me to do things like take out the garbage or change the kid's diapers but it is my constitutional right GOD DAMN IT!!! to sit in front of the TV that I paid for with my hard earned money and watch FOOTBALL!!!" _he said throwing his hat to the ground.

"Wait there is more to this question" he said looking at the paper once again _"Zoey it so cute you should make her a permanent part of the show"_

"Now I know my daughter is cute and everything but what is everyone's fascination with Zoey. She's like any other 4 year old girl ... she eats, takes naps and colors me pictures so I can put them in my office ... I just don't understand!"

Brawler started the We Want Zoey chant once again and John's normally cheery face turned a little red.

"I will get you ... you piece of **Brawler** just watch your back because you never know where I am" John took his ninja pose and just stood there for a moment enjoying his own cleverness.

"Will you answer the questions?" Steve waved his hand in order to try to get the younger man back on task.

"Quit rushing me I will answer the question when I am ready and not until then" John replied stubbornly.

"_Question number three: Melanie from the ATL writes: Your daughter is the cutest little thing I have ever seen"_ John rolled his eyes but continued to read _"have you ever thought about letting her become a child actress?"_

"Right now she doesn't really show any interest in acting but if she did and it was something that she really wanted to pursue then my wife and I would discuss it and see where it went from there but my own personal take on my daughter acting is this. I love what I do and I realize that I am in the public eye all the time and I accept that because I knew all about it going into this business but my kids are just that ... kids ... they did not choose to be in the public spotlight and unless they can come up to me and say Daddy I want to act or sing ... or hell even Daddy I want to wrestle I don't want to force them into anything just yet"

"_Question number four: Freddy from Miami wants to know whatever happened to Tha Trademarc?"_

"Marc is doing his own thing right now and I know for a fact that his album is dropping soon but do I get a free CD of course not the cheap bastard is making me go out and buy it like everyone else ... I'll remember that cuz. I have spoken to him and I know the last time someone asked me that question I told you he was at the very center of the earth just writing and recording well I have gotten word that he has left the center of the earth and is wondering lost somewhere in China"

"_Question number five: Molly from Tampa writes, Dear John ... Zoey is amazing please keep her on the show!!! Now as for my question what are you views on the Hollywood writers strike?"_

"I think it sucks how the hell am I supposed to watch my shows The Office or My Name Is Earl if the GD writers refuse to write new episodes. Get off your asses and get back to work you lazy **Brawlers**"

"It seems like my little girl has made an impact on the show and starting next week I will be taking a poll of how many people want me to continue bringing her with me. So until next time ... I'm off to save innocent kitties from evil doers ... I'm gone"

A/N: Here is another chapter of the story which is turning out to be my new favorite little project. But I need your help please ... I suck at thinking up questions so feel free to send me some to use in my writing and in return I will continue writing this story because seriously I am having so much fun just trying to be outrageous and off the wall like everyone's favorite "Jackass". So please send me questions. Also thank you Maddie for the two questions you gave me to use you rock as always.


	3. Chapter 3

The camera panned in on John Cena and he had that I'm so annoyed I want to kill someone look on his face

The camera panned in on John Cena and he had that I'm so annoyed I want to kill someone look on his face. In his arms was the little girl who in such a short time had captured so many people's hearts. Zoey was wearing a cute little pink sundress with a pair of white sandals. Her hair had been pulled back into a ponytail and much to John's annoyance every one of the crew members had awed at the little girl at least once since she had arrived.

"Ok people lets make this short and sweet" he said.

"Daddy are we gonna answer questions now?" the little girl asked excitedly.

"Yes Zoe" he replied.

"Well let's get on with it then" she gestured her hand to make him work a little faster.

"Hey I'm the parent here I call the shots" he remarked.

"Aww does someone need to be put into timeout" Steve Lombardi could be heard asking from behind the camera.

"Zoey earmuffs" Zoey covered her ears with her little hands.

"I swear Brawler your days are numbered I'm just going to break into your house one night and smother you with a pillow"

"I just want to let everyone know that if I am found dead John killed me and we have proof of it" Steve Lombardi could be heard again.

"Daddy can I take my hands away from my ears now?" Zoey asked.

"Yes baby"

"Question Number One: Briana from Beantown, which also happens to be the childhood home of yours truly wants to know … Zoey earmuffs again" the little girl rolled her eyes but did what she was told _"she wants to know if I would ever leave my wife and get with her … damn she even included a picture of herself"_ he gazed at the picture for a few seconds "Briana I'm flattered that you would send me a picture of yourself and even more flattered with the fact that you would want to sleep with me but I only have eyes for one woman and she's legally obligated to put up with me"

"La la la la" Zoey sang loudly.

She removed her hands from her ears "I'm not doing earmuff thing again" she informed him.

"Question Number Two:_ Tea, from NYC wants to know what I think of fan girls?"_

"Tea, I'm lucky I can get fans so I'll take anything I can get. They really don't bother me too much as long as they aren't out of control. I have no problem with people pretending that they are going to marry me as long as they don't do anything harmful. For example stalking me, my wife, or our kids that's a no no"

"Daddy what does stalking mean?" Zoey asked.

"It's nothing you have to worry about right now baby"

"Question Number Three: Shelby from Austin asks, _will we ever get to meet the rest of your family? _

"That's a good question it's hard to say because I really don't want to bring my wife Lea on here cause she's really hot and I'd be afraid of guys might some ideas that they shouldn't and as for Mariah and her twin brother Ryder well they are only 3 months old so it's kinda too early for them to make appearances but maybe one day I'll bring them in"

"I don't like the babies they cry too much" Zoey wrinkled her nose.

"Question Number Four: Cameron from El Paso wants to know, _If I watch Disney movies with my kids and which one in my favorite?"_

"Yes I have been known to sit through a Disney movie or two and I would have to say my favorite would probably be Cars. I know that is a shock to most people but what can I say I love anything that has to do with cars."

"Ryder has Cars in his crib" Zoey informed everyone "and I have a Lightning McQueen toy too and I'm not sharing it with the babies because it's my toy and they can't touch it or I'll make them go back to where they came from before they came to live at my house"

"Zoey sweetie we have had this talk before we can't send them back to where they came from before"

"Well then have them go live with Grandpa"

"Grandpa already has your 3 uncles who refuse to move out I don't think there is anymore room for any other people in that house"

"Well I'm telling you right now they better not touch my toys"

"Anyways after a excruciatingly long episode of 5 Questions we have come to the time to answer the last question" John sighed in relief.

"Wait a minute the last question is for Zoey!" John exclaimed in surprise.

"Alex from Calgary asks, _how is having John Cena for a dad?"_

"He sometimes talks in this weird way I think mommy called it rapping, or something like that. I think rap sounds strange, but mommy always laughs when Daddy talks like that, so I guess I like it too. He is also really fun cause he plays with me all the time and he always gives me kisses when I don't feel good and he let's me eat ice cream for breakfast when mommy isn't around so he's a really good daddy. But his feet smell. That … I don't like"

"Thanks kid I really appreciate that and believe me when your birthday comes around I'm not getting you anything"

"But daddy I'm your baby girl" she batted her little eyelashes at him.

"No Mariah is my baby girl you are my first born girl there is a difference" he responded.

"Would you really not buy me a present?" she asked a little upset.

"Keep with the mouth and I just might" he replied even though he knew he could never carry the threat out.

"I'm telling mommy on you" she crossed her little arms over her chest.

The screen went blank before anyone could hear John's reply.

A/N: I'm sorry it took me so long to post this chapter it's just I have been really busy and haven't had time to think up questions. I will try to get the next update up sooner rather than later. Also I apologize if this chapter wasn't as funny as the last two but in my defense it's very hard to top my witty sarcasm. But enjoy folks and let me know what you think.


	4. Chapter 4

"Were back!" Zoey gave the camera a dazzling smile. Her father, John Cena, did not look as happy to be back as his young daughter did.

"Yay." John mumbled less than enthusiastically.

"Hi Uncle Brawler." Zoey yelled and waved to her favorite person in the whole world, besides her dad of course.

"Zoe, he is not your uncle. There is no need to call him that."

"But I wanna ..." she began to whine.

"Fine." John sighed, exasperated already. "Let's just answer these questions huh?"

"Well how can we answer them if you do not read them? I am four ... I cannot read yet." Zoey retorted. John could hear snickering from the backstage crew members.

"Question number one is from Deanna in Springfield, Missouri: _We all know your fascination with nudity. Would you ever consider posing for Playgirl like Shawn Michaels did?_"

"Well Deanna ... hmm ... I have actually never really thought about it. Sure it is well known that I am proud of what the good lord has given me and have no problem showing it off. Which by the way is the easiest way for a man to show how confident he is. I guess I would have to say if my wife was ok with it then I would consider it."

"Daddy what is Playgirl?" Zoey asked.

"It's nothing you ever have to worry about baby." He assured her.

"Does nudity mean naked?" She asked. He did not answer her right away and she took that to mean yes. Her little eyes went wide. "Why would Uncle Shawn be naked for people to see?"

"Next question." John said before Zoey could make him anymore uncomfortable.

"Wait a second." Brawler stopped him before he could begin reading the next question. "Why does Shawn Michaels get to be called Uncle Shawn and I cannot be called Uncle Brawler?"

"Because I like Shawn more than I like you." John shrugged. "I coulda lied and made up something but that is the truth."

"Anyways back to the reason we are here." John cleared his throat and began to read. " Question number two from Amanda in Orlando: _I only started watching wrestling a few years ago with my ex. If you could have a match with anyone past or present, who would it be and why?"_

"Well my answer would obviously be the Brooklyn Brawler just for the simple fact that I would love to wipe the floor with his broken and battered body." John laughed at what he thought was his own brilliance. "Hmm ... no I'm just kidding. If I could choose anyone to wrestle I would have to say it would be old school Ultimate Warrior. Why would simply be because I think we could bring the house down."

"It will never happen." Brawler could be heard from behind the camera. "Even if he didn't hate Vince with a passion I doubt he would break his retirement to face a punk like you."

"One day Brawler ... one day." John promised.

"Question number three. Hey Zoe this one is for you. Stella from California asks : _What is your favorite thing to do with your daddy?"_

"Me and Daddy play Barbies when he doesn't have to work. And he takes me to his friend Bobby's stables and I get to ride horses. I like riding horses."

"Aww. Zoey Uncle Brawler will buy you your own horse."

"You mean it?" Zoey asked excitedly. John sent a glare Brawler's way. Either way if he meant it or not it would not be fun for him.

John quickly started in on the next question before Brawler could answer. He hoped Zoey would forget. "Question number four, Becca from Utah wants to know: _John do you have any guilty pleasures?"_

John grinned. "I think the better question is what isn't my guilty pleasure. Actually I do have one and I am not afraid to share it. I like going with my wife and getting pedicures." The studio was silent at his admission. Even Brawler could not think of a witty comment. "It's a nice way for me and her to spend time together while Grandpa Fabulous watches the kiddies. We get to talk and get pampered at the same time. I think more people should try it. I also enjoy going with the wifey to the spa. Does that make me any less of a man? I don't think so."

"Last question ... Aubree from Houston writes: _Do you still get nervous when you get in the ring with guys like HBK, Triple H, or Orton?"_

"Yes and no. Yes, because going into any match, even with the most seasoned veterans things can still go wrong. A move can be botched and my neck or back could be broken. Then what do I do? I am stuck at home not providing for my family or in a worst case scenario I could be paralyzed. Then what? How can I take care of my kids and wife like that? So those thoughts are always in the back of every wrestler's head. But as far as going into the ring with guys like Randy and Shawn or even Hunter I do not get nervous. Those guys are my friends and we try our best to look out for each other. When I get into the ring with them I know they are going to do everything they can to make sure I am going to walk out of that ring in one piece and also that we are going to have one hell of a match.

"No more questions Daddy?" Zoey asked giving him her sweetest smile.

"All done baby." John picked his oldest daughter up and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "You wanna wave bye to all the people watching this on the internet."

"Bye internet peoples. See you next week." With that it faded to black.

A/N: I want to thank OrtonsMistress so much for thinking up these wonderful questions. It felt good to be able to work on this again. So madd props go out to her. I really do appreciate it.


End file.
